Rant of the Angry Little Asian Man

testing

2008-09-29T12:12:00.001-07:00

i will delete this soon.

whoops.

2008-03-07T16:00:00.000-08:00

heh, whoops. i almost forgot that i had this blog, and i posted a bunch of new year's resolutions to it...last YEAR. so this is as good a time as any to do a little self reflection, and see if i've done well on my 2007 resolutions.

• be more positive - i think i've done better on this front. i'm not sure if i'm a more positive person in general, but i've certainly learned to hold my tongue back a bit.
• take things slower - hmmm...this is mixed. on one hand, i know when i'm at home, i still feel the need to do everything all at once so that i can get comfortable ASAP (like go to the bathroom and get undressed and take out my contacts), but for larger life stuff, i surprised myself by being able to juggle a lot of big changes at the same time (getting engaged, buying a house, finding a new job - more on all of this at another time). so i'll give myself a passing grade here.
• be more decisive - another head scratcher. when it comes to big things, sure, somehow i manage to make the call pretty quickly. i'm definitely moreso now at work - although that may be a function of being in a job where i don't have to get through 18 levels of approvals for every last thing.
• be better informed, read the news, watch the news - horrendous failure here.
• research returning to asia in the future - this one competes with the last one for the horrendous failure award.
• eat more fruit - i think i'm doing ok here. =)

all in all...to assign myself an arbitrary score, i think i just passed with a 65%.

new year, new promises.

2007-01-05T14:31:00.000-08:00

why do people make new year's resolutions? if you stop to think about it, it's actually pretty stupid. what's the difference between december 31st and january 1st? as i get older, the difference gets smaller and smaller every year. i think when i have kids, that's when the holidays will kick back in for me, but right now, the holidays aren't all that big a deal, except for another reason to party.

that being said, i'll stop ranting and list out the things i want to work on this year.

• be more positive. or at least, learn to keep my mouth shut a bit more when nothing but disparaging thoughts come to mind. i don't want to be that guy or be perceived as that guy.
• take things a bit slower. i've gotten into the habit of rushing from one thing to the next, so much so that i can't stop to appreciate things. for example, when eating dinner at home, as soon as i'm done, i'm up and washing the dishes, because that's the next logical thing to do. what's wrong with just sitting and digesting for a bit? or, when cooking, i'm trying to do a million things at once - wash the veggies, cut them, start pan-frying, go, go, go...it's put a real crimp in my culinary skills. this is gonna be a tough habit to break.
• be more decisive. i don't know when i stopped being decisive but i did. i don't have much of an opinion on anything anymore, and that bothers me. i'd like to have a better formed opinion on small things (such as where to go for dinner or what to do over the weekend) to larger things (such as how i feel about unions and its affect on the american workforce).
• corollary to the last one, be better informed. read more. read the news. watch the news (in chinese).
• corollary to the last one (again), if i'm going to go back to asia i should start acting like it. i really don't know crap about business in asia, so it's an "easy to say hard to do" kinda thing. i should devote it the proper due dilligence, since it would be, uh, a HUGE life decision.
• lastly, eat more fruit. you laugh, but seriously. i feel like a lot of my dietary problems start first thing in the morning. i get up and drink coffee for breakfast. as a result, i'm starving at lunch. as a result, i get food coma in the afternoon. i get home, i'm starving again, so i eat too much for dinner, or i munch on chips or something before dinner. repeat x 365. hence, new dietary plan for 2007: fruit + some carb (toast) + coffee in the morning. mid/light lunch. fruit snack in the afternoon. dinner. maybe dessert. go to bed before my brain thinks i need more food.

oh, and lastly lastly - follow through. i'll check back around this time in 2008 to see how i did.

seen on the freeway.

2006-11-22T20:33:00.000-08:00

on monday, 101 south. i really wish i could've taken a picture of this. a mental image will have to do. picture this:

a large black pickup truck, raised maybe 6 inches off the 22 inch rims, huge metal bars covering the front and rear bumpers and the lights, huge foglights installed in the front. i was driving an audi at the time and i think my head was about level with his footboard.

driver was a white male, mid twenties, buzz cut, sunglasses, yapping away on cell phone. typical.

license plate: UR TINY.

i'm fairly certain he was addressing his own penis.

home away from home.

2006-11-20T08:39:00.000-08:00

stopped by the new and improved westfield shopping center in downtown SF, and i gotta say....wow. it reminds me of asia in a lot of ways - large, bright open concept mall, with a big proper food court and grocery downstairs. i'm happy to see stores like metropark, vans, lids, border's (a bookstore is always nice to have in a mall...a place to chill out), the french bakery upstairs (the name escapes me, but it's the same one on santana row next to straits cafe), straits cafe, out the door...

bloomingdale's men's also looks promising. i'm in full-on save $$$ mode right now so i didn't want to risk going in.

oh, and i'm looking forward to trying wichcraft someday. food network's been pimping tom collichio for ages.

it's nice to see that the higher-end stores are moving over to the new mall, and the rest is staying in the old mall - one of the things i always hated about the SF shopping center was the teenybopper appeal. walking in and out of the place was always a chore, with all of the fools loitering around outside.

so, taking all of that together, with all the rich indos running around with their gucci handbags, and the asian kids gangsta squatting outside the mall and smoking, it's just like being in taiwan or singapore.

ah, home.

content junkie.

2006-11-18T09:45:00.000-08:00

hi, my name is b and i'm a content junkie.

it started off pretty harmlessly - the tv was used for 2 things: watching sports and an occasional dvd.

then came the tivo, which was great for buzzing through commercials for a couple of shows i was really into, like the simpsons.

but as i got older and busier (and my attention span shortened), i found myself drawn more and more to tv shows. little bite-sized pieces of content, perfectly consumed over a meal.

then came the plasma tv, in all its HD glory. and it's true what they say: once you've gone HD you can't go back. so the poor tivo was rendered useless in favor of on-demand HD programming from my wide network of friends. *ahem*

and now i have the best of all worlds: HD quality programming, commercial free, when i want it. and i'm hooked.

what's going to be the future of digital content distribution? when more and more people are getting their content the way i'm getting it now, and less are sitting and waiting for shows to start, something's going to have to change. the networks won't be able to rely on advertisers buying commercials that are just going to be cut out from the show...so i guess eventually we'll have to pay for everything. maybe they'll run a ticker across the bottom of the screen to stream ads constantly. maybe they'll offer subscription downloads - ad free version will be for-pay, but with ads will be free.

how strong is the desire to not only get content when you want it, but also where you want it? is there a market for a portable digital media player that can grab shows anytime and anywhere? we're starting to see that in slingbox, but that seems far too complicated and expensive to really become a widespread standard.

so, i don't know where this post is going, but it's some stuff i've been thinking about. i'm sure there's tons of business opportunities in this space, and who knows which will become viable, but one thing seems clear to me: in a few years, we're all going to be content junkies. whoever figures out a way to feed the addiction is going to be stinking rich.

10 months and 20 days...

2006-10-21T08:39:00.000-07:00

...since my last blog post. forgive me blogger for i have sinned.

woops. well, i'm back. i think the time off should have been plenty of time to kill off what little readership i had before, but oh well...more privacy for me. when no one's watching, you can be free.

so what's happened in the last 10 months or so?

• been working my tail off. i read my last post about "learning a new business" and it took me a few days to remember what the hell i was talking about. then it hit me..ahh, right. well, that project got shelved. but 8 months later, it's back on, so i can't talk about it again. other than that, i've become the defacto senior web producer for my group, because of attrition and lack of new hiring. the upside is that i get staffed to every large project. the downside is that there's only so much time in a day.
• i'm coming up on a much-needed vacation. we're leaving for maui in 2 days. i'm excited, yet not. it's weird. you get on a roll at work and you don't really want to leave that. plus i have a hard time leaving some of the most important people in my life: sangiovese, tempranillo, pancetta, and prosciutto. (in case you're wondering the first 2 are goldfish and the latter 2 are my turtles.)
• i haven't talked to my family enough. i think i'm developing an old-man level phobia of talking on the phone, because i just despise it. so much to the point that i have a hard time calling my brother just to see how he's doing. if you asked me where he's working now, i'd have no idea. yeah, it's that bad.
• the suns nearly blew it in the first round of the playoffs. man, i have NEVER been that pissed in my entire life. after game 3, i was just wrecking things. but that was a momentous occasion for me, as an obsessed sports fan. it's like "hitting bottom" as a drug user. you hit bottom and you realize that you've hit bottom, and that's when you decide to pick up the pieces in your life and turn things around. and so i did. sports won't affect me as much as they used to. or so i hope, just wait till next june.
• i'm obsessed with the "•". i use this with ALL my emails now to lay out bullet points. on a mac, it's "alt" + "8".
• i've decided to go back to school. eventually. why? i can't think of a good reason, really. something tells me that it's time. you know, it's the same feeling you get in your head. it's time to get married. it's time to end this relationship. it's time to buy a new car. it's just time. the feeling i get is that i can't do this job forever. my biggest problem is i just don't have it in me, to take what someone else said as gospel and just go do it unquestioningly. aapl's got a culture of that, at least in my group, and it's a cultural thing that comes all the way from the top, down to us. anyway, my point is, i don't like being told what to do. and i hate sucking up. the faster i can get to a place where I'M telling people what to do, and they're sucking up to ME, the better.
• don't get me wrong, i hate suck-ups. but if you had to choose between sucking up and being sucked up to, which would you prefer?
• i saw "the last kiss," the movie by zach braff (ok i know he didn't make the movie but i can't be bothered to look it up. the guy who wrote "crash" wrote it.) why is this significant? it wasn't a great movie, by any stretch, but it was good. why was rachel bilson so attracted to zach braff? i mean, that NEVER happens. you just don't get coed hotties coming up to you, forcing their number on you, and basically dragging your ass to bed, with little or no effort on your part. anyway, i digress. the reason why that movie's significant, and this is the same thing i've been telling other people, is that zach braff's character? that's ME. i'm in his point in life. almost 30, in a very good place in life, happy, stable...but not quite ready to say: this is it. not quite ready to stamp some "final" details on my life. i'm almost there, just not...quite...there...yet. and i don't think it's a fear of commitment, to another person, or a mortgage. to me, it's the fear of turning in your last crazy dream you had for yourself. am i ready to shelve that last dream? i was telling di the other day, the mid-20s crisis comes from reconciling what you thought you'd be doing at 25 when you were 21. so this is kind of the same thing. i'm battling the expectations i had on myself when i was 21. or 18. or 12. "by the time i turn 30, i want to..."

anyway, in case you were wondering, that last post, that's why i'm here. it's time to figure some shit out.
forgive me blogger, for i have sinned. it's been 10 months and 20 days since my last post.
but, i'm back.

thoughts.

2006-02-01T13:22:00.000-08:00

i just read a few of my previous posts. the one before was from 3 months ago, the one before that, 9 months. so, my dear dear readership, i hope you're not waiting on the edge of your seat to receive my next digest.

blogging, to me, is one of those things that is cool when i want to do it. it's like drawing or painting or whatever artistic endeavor you might undertake - it only comes to me in moments of extreme inspiration. so as you can see, in the last 9 months i've had two of those moments.

another problem i have with blogging, is that i don't know if i'm really writing for myself or for other people that are reading it. i don't know who's looking at this, i don't know if anyone will ever look at this. so sometimes i am undecided whether i am writing for myself or in the hopes that someone will read this eventually. really, i don't care. i just don't want to say something that's going to get me into trouble.

i'd thought about using this space to talk about stuff i'd learned from random places - magazines, at work, "life" experience, and whatnot. between the time that i was entertaining that thought and now, when i have time to translate those thoughts to paper, i can't think of a single thing i've learned in the last few days.

i *do* know more about a particular business now, but because of confidentiality i shan't say what that business is. so sorry dear reader, you lose out on my rich insight here. yes, that is sarcasm.

someone sent me to the blog of an employee at xanga: http://www.xanga.com/chrischoi - he writes about how he proposed to his girlfriend. purty darn good story, and well written.

anyway, that was just a diversion to blab for a bit. i'll think of more focused topics to write about later.

i'm back.

2005-11-20T10:20:00.000-08:00

it's been a long, long time since i visited this page.

but it's been an interesting past couple of months - lots of change, lots of work to do, but somehow i've been feeling oddly bored the past couple of weeks.

work's been somewhat fun. in some ways it's been intersesting. new people, new challenges, new skills learned. in the past couple of weeks i've been thinking that i may need to move to move ahead - the straight-line route at a big company like apple will take a long, long time to get to where i want to be. i'm not exactly sure where that is just yet, but i know i want to be in a situation where i'm making meaningful decisions. i have a big, big problem taking orders from people who haven't got a clue. and there are just way too many people above me and around me who haven't got a clue.

i feel a change brewing, soon. i don't know how long i'll have patience for this. in the meanwhile, i'll really need to focus on developing the skills so i'll be able to contribute more meaningfully to another venture down the line.

i like these lazy sunday mornings. a little downtime, some room to think.

so here's my new resolution. i'm going to use this space to explore the next step. i think sitting down and writing about it will help me think things through. i need to find a little bit of discipline and cut out some of the distractions to my head.

to start: i'm reading this article i found on rishi's blog, it's ideas for startups by paul graham. i'm finding a lot of truth in this section on doodling:

the next morning, one of you has an idea in the shower about how to solve it. He runs eagerly to to tell the others, and together they work out the kinks.

What happens in that shower? It seems to me that ideas just pop into my head. But can we say more than that?

Taking a shower is like a form of meditation. You're alert, but there's nothing to distract you. It's in a situation like this, where your mind is free to roam, that it bumps into new ideas.

What happens when your mind wanders? It may be like doodling. Most people have characteristic ways of doodling.

for me? it's the commute. i've found that i do a lot of good thinking on the drive down. maybe to facilitate this, i'll start listening to classical music or jazz, and turn off the talk radio. i thought of an idea for a travel service, maybe i'll post more on this later as i solidify my thoughts.

paralysis.

2005-05-10T09:58:00.000-07:00

wah, long time no blog ah?

so what have i been up to since the last time i posted, which was about a month ago? in short, *nothing much.* let me think...

- golf. you'd think that with the amount of time and practice i have now i shoulda been able to shave a few strokes off my game, but that hasn't happened. why? i believe the beauty of golf is in its infinite frustration. it's the neverending challenge. you can never count on doing ONE THING well because your own body will betray you, with its aches and pains and its cursed muscle memory. it's the ultimate battle between your brain and your body, and right now my brain is generally the loser.

- reading. i recently finished the memoirs of barack obama, the recently elected democratic senator for illinois. his story is really an amazing one, and his memoirs are quite modest about everything he's managed to accomplish. growing up in hawaii and never meeting his father till he was 10, moving to indonesia, moving back to hawaii and finding a way to go to a decent school and stay out of trouble, getting a high paying job in nyc and leaving it to become a community organizer in chicago. (i never knew what a community organizer was till i read this book btw.) going back to kenya to retrace his roots, meet his family for the first time, and finding a sense of self within his multi-racial and multi-cultural background that doesn't fit into any nice societal bucket. that's something i constantly struggle with as well, not really being an american, not really being chinese. the sad thing is, the longer i stay in america, the less chinese i become, but it's not like that is replaced with feelings of belonging to an american culture. as the chinese side slips, so does the overall self-identity. a sad fact i've learned over recent months.

- thinking. you'd think that with a good 8-10 hours a day to do nothing but think, i'd have thought of something to do by now. but as the title of this blog confesses, i've been stricken by paralysis. ya think too much and the result is inaction. so i need to find a way to start doing - jump start the old engine, so to speak. sitting around and considering all the alternatives is not doing me any good. one of the big problems is that i've reached an age where i don't feel like i can make any mistakes anymore. ok so xoom was a mistake, i've accepted that. but i don't feel bad about it because it wasn't a mistake i felt like i could've avoided. maybe i could've interviewed with a few more people. but it's not like i can request that sort of thing, when i'm asking for a job. so rather than try something and run the risk of making a mistake, the path of least resistance is to not run the risk, and instead, do nothing.

this can't go on forever. at some point my patience, mental energy, and funding will run out.

on a lighter note, my suns are doing well in the playoffs so far. no signs of rust or backing down. it's a strange feeling for me. i'm so used to the suns being a huge underdog, always struggling and not quite making it, that i don't know what to do with myself when they're stomping all over the opponent. it's almost...not as exciting. seriously, my proudest moment as a suns fan was 2 years ago, when they sneaked into the playoffs, game 1 against the spurs, and amare stoudemire hits a 3 to send the game into overtime, and at the end of OT marbury sinks a 3 from midcourt to win the game. now THAT was drama.

fish obsession.

2005-03-09T10:32:00.000-08:00

i am becoming obsessed with fish. not for eating, goldfish.

it started innocently enough - you go to a pet store, buy a bowl, some rocks, some food, and a couple of cute fish to keep. naturally those guys die off, and you go back to the pet store asking what you can do to keep the fish healthy. i remember one conversation i had with the pet store owner, a youngish, hippie girl, complete with dreads and hemp skirt. the conversation went something like:

"so...i had these goldfish, but i wasn't too successful with them. i got them here and they didn't last very long."

"what did you keep them in?"

"a bowl...this one..."

"a BOWL?! you can't keep fish in a BOWL."

"but, you sold them to me..."

"if you keep fish in a bowl you're KILLING them. they can't BREATHE. you're SUFFOCATING THEM."

"uhm, ok." off to petco i go, where the sales associates are stupid and mind their own business. nor do they make you feel like an icthocydial maniac. why the hell did you sell me the fish and the bowl in the first place, lady?!

at some point this innocent interest became a mission. i can keep a stupid goldfish alive for longer than 6 months.

anyway, di and i got a tank. a small, 6 gallon one. one that now i know is also a "fish-killer" because fish need huge tanks to get by. about 10 gallons per fish. good lord. hell, it'd be nice if i could have a 2000 sq ft. apartment, but it's not gonna happen, so i'm going to deal with it. likewise my fish will have to deal as well.

so we weren't too successful with our first few fish. turns out the water in san francisco is killer to fish, because of all the chlorine and chloramine they add to the water to make it palatable. so the irony now, is our fish drink better water than we do, since i go out and buy spring water in bulk to change their tank water with.

i've recently learned that getting a tank with a filter is not enough to keep happy fish. nor is spring water. you need to get a "nitrogen cycle" going by fostering the growth of good bacteria, that breaks down the ammonia in the water (produced by fish poop) and turns it into nitrogen. however, too much nitrogen isn't that good either, so you need to convert that into nitrates by adding epsom salt, and la la lalalalala i've completely lost track of how to care for these suckers.

dude, i might as well get a hamster. at least it's a mammal, and i KNOW what the hell keeps them alive. warmth. milk. exercise. none of these frickin' ammonia ph nitrates, all the chemistry i've forgotten years ago.

either way, i still do it, spend tons of time and money caring for these fish. why?

when i see happy fish, i'm happy. sigh.

random thoughts.

2005-03-09T10:17:00.000-08:00

- being unemployed raises some new, interesting ways to approach your days. for example, every day this week has been for a specific goal. monday was fish day - go find a fish store in chinatown (more on this later), come home, clean the tank, and get it running healthy again. oh, before i go on, a moment for prosecco...who hung in there valiantly.

...

anyway, tuesday was car day - take the car in for service, long overdue, and get it washed and waxed. i didn't get to the wash and wax part, because it's tough to service your car when it's just by yourself. after dropping the car off at sf honda (located at the corner of 12th and market), i walked to 2nd and market. about 2 miles. and then to pick up the car, i walked about another 15 minutes before i managed to catch a cab.

"metro" moment - yesterday before dropping the car off, i realized that i had the "rent" soundtrack and norah jones cds sitting in my car, the radio was tuned to techno music, and i was wearing a mickey mouse shirt.

today is tax day. at some point i will peel myself away from the computer to go to h&r block...which i'm not looking forward to. IRS, please spare my savings account...i can spend the money a lot better than you can! bastards.

reading like a madman.

2005-02-21T23:55:00.000-08:00

so since i've been unemployed, i've been reading a lot. here's a list of what i've read so far:
- gig
- smart mobs
- the alchemist
- the paradox of choice
- blink
- wicked
- the life of pi (in progress)
- reading lolita in tehran (next)
- native speaker (after next)

plowing through these books, sitting in front of my computer, playing nba street vol. 3, and watching back to back to back episodes of 24...oh, my eyes.

oops

2005-02-21T23:47:00.000-08:00

it's been quite some time since i blogged. i apologize for leaving any of my loyal readers hanging with the answer to the question i posed in the last blog entry. i'm sure all 2 of you were hanging by the seat of your pants.

anyway, to answer the question, it's called the endowment effect. once you own something, even if it's not the exact thing that you want, you *own* it now, and having to give it up gives you some kind of pain, simply because it's already yours. so if i were to tell you first that i was going to give you a pen, and give you the opportunity to swap it for a mug, the chances of you swapping are now much higher because you haven't owned the pen yet - it is, in your mind, still an abstraction. so there is no pain involved in giving it up. another way to think of it is you haven't incurred the opportunity cost of taking one thing and sacrificing it for another.

so how does this apply to fantasy sports? the endowment effect causes some fantasy players, imo, to overvalue their guys, because they've had the guy for so long. well, at least it makes for some interesting trade proposals. as an old fantasy nerd (and i guess this involves a bit of psychology too), i'll target players that were recently acquired by the other manager. since he/she hasn't owned the player as long, the endowment effect is less, and therefore the manager is more willing to trade.

i'm sure there are other more practical applications to this theory. as such, i'm too tired to think of them.

prospect theory and fantasy sports.

2005-01-26T11:55:00.000-08:00

i'm reading "the paradox of choice" and just came across this very interesting paragraph on prospect theory:

..suppose you are one of a large group of participants in a study and for your time and trouble, you are given either a coffee mug or a nice pen. the two gifts are of roughly equal value and randomly distributed - half of the people in the room get one, while the other half get the other. you and your fellow participants are then given the opportunity to trade. considering the random distribution, you would think that about half the people in the group would be gotten the object they preffered and that the other half would be happy to swap. but in fact, there are very few trades. this phenomenon is called...

before i go on, anyone have any ideas why? post a comment if you do.

attention span deficiency reversal

2005-01-25T22:41:00.000-08:00

i'm putting myself through reversal of attention span deficiency training (RASDT). over the last few years of working at a .com, i've gotten used to having 6 browser windows open, each of them representing a thought, or a task. every email that needs my attention also has its own window, and there are other things, such as powerpoint, word, or visio files. and of course there's the leisure windows, for fantasy sports and the like. the end result is that i can't focus on any one thing anymore. while i was working, i'm sure 45% of my day was just spent flipping through the different windows, pausing to scan or think about each one for a few moments, then flipping to the next window. each time i flipped i would think, "i'll focus on this later."

the end result? i can't focus on anything. even as i write this blog, the temptation to flip to a different window and see if i've gotten any new emails, or if there's a new trade in my fantasy leagues, is overwhelming. so, thus the need for RASDT. step one: get through a magazine and retain some useful knowledge. today i tried businessweek's special edition on social security:

"To give America's struggling seniors a lifeline out of poverty, Franklin D. Roosevelt 70 years ago established the Social Security system. The program was never intended to be particularly generous - and even after increases over the decades, the average check totals just $14,000 a year. Yet Social Security remains a mainstay for America's 36 million seniors; two out of three count on it for half their income."

Did you fall asleep? Scan ahead to the next paragraph, this one? Click on "next blog?" If so, you may be in need of RASDT. When i have the program steps worked out, i'll open franchises dedicated to fixing this problem, a la jenny craig. "brian wey's attention span deficiency reversal training program." i'm gonna need some serious branding work before i can sell that in an infomercial.

Speaking of Social Security, it makes it much more fun to think about it in West Wing terms. If Martin Sheen read this article aloud to me, i might actually pay attention.

unemployment and keeping busy.

2005-01-25T11:15:00.000-08:00

..:: day 13 ::..

it's been nearly 2 weeks of unemployment, although it certainly hasn't felt that long. i've been keeping busy with travel, the past weekend was spent in lake tahoe learning how to cross country ski. it's actually really fun - you get the feel of speed without the feel of rushing toward impending death, which is what i get when i do anything downhill save biking. it's all about control. on a snowboard or skis, i have none. on a bike, with brakes, i do. also a bike doesn't weigh much, so if it falls on you or you fall on it, you won't do much damage either way. it's not like a 500lb ATV, which paul will attest to.

anyway, it doesn't feel like it's been all that long. i'm not terribly bored yet - it's been like summer or winter vacation where there are some things to do but not a whole lot, and most of the time is spent doing stuff i've been meaning to do but never really got around to it. little things. for example, i wanted to check out a parking garage across the street to see if it would be cheaper. under normal, employed circumstances, i would never find the time or a compelling reason to do so. but now it's something i do have time for, after morning coffee. the garage closes at 7pm btw, not worth the $100 savings.

another example, i'd been meaning to call and change my auto insurance policy because i have a ridiculously low deductible that costs me a fortune, but i never bothered to change it before. now that there's no income, it was one of the first things i did.

i've had the time to watch all of the episodes of the west wing on dvd over again. what a brilliant show. it actually warrants a second viewing, with the fast dialogue and sometimes complex issues. i'm glad i invested in the dvds...unlike alias, which will probably never find its way back into my dvd player. unless i'm hospitalized for an extended period of time, knock on wood.

links.

2005-01-24T11:38:00.000-08:00

some photos from december and january:

taiwan:
http://www.ofoto.com/I.jsp?c=okmezhb.birgpdyj&x=1&y=f6jjpz

vegas:
http://www.ofoto.com/I.jsp?c=okmezhb.33cu2ku3&x=1&y=uwaz08

stress.

2005-01-20T10:26:00.000-08:00

people in today's world are under way more stress than they used to be, even say, 10 years ago. off the top of my head, let me think of a few things that we worry about these days that we didn't used to have to worry about:

..:: don't get fat, because you need to look like a magazine cover. wear branded clothes, because if you don't look cool enough you'll never get into the hip clubs. get into the hip clubs, because anyone who doesn't is a loser. practice good hygiene - you need to floss, exfoliate, brush, apply, rinse, repeat, scrub, gargle, trim, moisturize, all that, every day. eat right - count carbs, count calories, count empty calories, count pounds. eat less meat, eat less cholesterol, eat whatever the AMA, the AHA, the FDA, and dr. phil tells you to. stay on top of current events and entertainment, otherwise you'll never have a conversation at a party again. have a good job or career, otherwise you'll never have a conversation at a party again. take exotic vacations, otherwise you'll never have a conversation at a party again. accept that you'll never being able to buy a home. accept that you'll never be able to save enough for retirement. accept that you'll never be able to save enough for your kid's college education. accept that you'll never be able to save enough to get that new BMW that comes out next year. stay on top of technology, because if you have a cell phone the size of your palm people will laugh at you. check your voicemail immediately. check your email every day. spam. respond immediately to whoever wants to reach you at any time of the day. find and retain a great spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other. exercise, but do it properly. don't get hurt without insurance. don't drive a car without insurance. don't rent, buy, lease, sell without insurance. don't sign your name without consulting a lawyer. don't worry about your credit score, because your FICO score is what matters. don't bother buying anything unless your FICO score is high. don't run up too much debt, otherwise your FICO score will drop. don't miss any payments, otherwise your FICO score will drop. don't give out your social security number, and make sure you shred any documents with your name on it. don't get phished. don't get a virus. don't get spyware. don't smoke. don't breathe second hand smoke. don't breathe second hand smoke on the person next to you, and don't curse, fart, burp, look them directy in the eye, shake their hand, give them a hug, just be prepared to make some witty comment about the weather.

deep breath.

ok i feel better now. i think i'll go have a beer.

ps. thinking about hip clubs, has anyone noticed that the only people in the world that are PAID to exercise their prejudice are the fucking bouncers at clubs? i want a job where i can routinely dismiss people that are fat, skinny, black, white, yellow, ghetto, ugly, noisy, trashy, or whatever strikes my fancy that particular day. "today is the 3rd friday of the month...no lesbians today."

by the way, if you're a little asian man, every day is the 3rd friday of any month.

you have just been ralamed.

sure signs you're getting old.

2005-01-20T09:53:00.000-08:00

here's a list, in no particular order:

..:: your back hurts for no particular reason. for example, the other night i lay down in bed and i could feel my back cramping up. c'mon!!! if i can't lie down what the heck am i supposed to do about my back?

..:: you don't like drinking ice water anymore. room temp or warm water for me please. likewise, eating cold fruit hurts your teeth.

..:: you need to put lotion on after showering. i recall being a kid and having snake skin, not giving a shit, and being happy about it.

..:: every pair of shoes has a specific purpose. you have your running shoes. you have your basketball shoes. you have the shoes that go with these jeans but not the other pair, you have the formal dress shoes, you have the work dress shoes, you have the walking shoes, and you have the pimp shoes that you can't wear because they hurt your feet like a mofo.

..:: when you travel you carry enough battery charge cable to lower yourself out the window down to the ground floor of your hotel.

..:: if something isn't in the exact place where you think it is, you're screwed, because you'll never remember where you last put it. oh and by the way it annoys the heck out of you.

...more as i think of it.

unemployment and vegas.

2005-01-18T13:07:00.000-08:00

..:: day 6 ::..

oops i've skipped from day 2 to day 6. reason being, i've been in vegas the last 3 days. oh the irony, to go to vegas immediately after quitting my job. being unemployed, however, did provide a convenient excuse not to do anything. i don't really gamble, but now i can say, "well i really shouldn't play because i have no income," as opposed to "i really don't want to play because i'm scared of losing all my money."

i went to vegas for good reason tho, my roommate's bachelor party. that must've been the tamest bachelor party in history. no drugs except for about 2 rounds of drinks, no strippers, no rudeness, and heck, even no swearing. my roommate doesn't swear - he says "freak" instead of the f-word. fuck me. tho i noticed if he actually said "fuck" instead of "freak" he'd cuss more than anyone i know.

i've never been to a club with 10 guys and no girls before. it's really quite sad, when you have a circle of guys on the dance floor, sorta dancing, most of them just doing a guy head bob or sort of gyrating to the music. none of the guys had any game - actually most of them had steady girlfriends and weren't looking to cause any trouble. paul actually came out the winner for the weekend, getting the phone number of a pretty cute girl who's also from the bay area. i excused myself constantly to go to the bar or text message diana.

vegas was interesting. the best part was going on atv tours - tho it was kind of funny, about half the group will never get on an atv again after that. some of the guys got hurt, had to bail off their machines, or in paul's case, he was trying to get up a hill and somehow slid off the hill and into a ravine, where carey had to climb down and pull him out. i was way up the trail taking pics of the nevada skyline, oblivious to the minor crisis going on below. what a good friend am i. =) i'll post the picture i took while paul was pinned under an atv soon.

i have never been as exhausted as i was the last day in vegas. jetlagged, staying up late at night, and having a 285 lb. bed-mate that snores like a mu'fugger really didn't help (don't ask), and i was on my last legs of energy by the end. i think on the flight back i kept pitching forward in my seat, so the guy next to me kept pushing my head back, and finally pushed my seat back for me so i'd stop pitching forward. i really hope i didn't drool on myself, because i don't remember anything about the flight.

all in all it was a good trip to vegas. both the bachelors, carey and josh, are good guys that will do well, i think.

i have been summoned for jury duty on february 14. bloody marvelous. happy valentine's day to you too.

unemployment.

2005-01-14T08:04:00.000-08:00

..:: day two ::..

day one of being unemployed passed without being too boring. it was day one after all. the important thing i'm finding, is to still have goals for the day. for example, yesterday's goal was to get a haircut. not a spectacular goal, but nonetheless one that required some planning in advance. (the haircut turned out to be too short by the way.)

on the way home i stopped at border's to look at some books. at my mother's recommendation, i bought a book called "the alchemist" by paulo coelho. it's a fable about a young man's journey to realize his life dream. actually it reads kind of like a children's story, but still good for adults. i'm about halfway through and will attempt to post some profound thoughts on the book when i'm done. the other book i bought was "the paradox of choice," about how too much choice can be harmful - "how the culture of abundance robs us of satisfaction." i'm looking forward to reading this one.

goal of day 2 - get through some of the easier items on my ever-growing to-do list, the financial survival to-dos, such as reduce my car insurance. there's no reason why i need a $250 deductible when i'm not using my car for anything more than driving to the golf course. come to think of it maybe i should just trade in my car for a golf kart. i'd be classified a low-emissions vehicle and get unfettered use of the carpool lanes. i'd also get killed, but oh well.

other goals for the day, go to the gym, and read some more of these books. i intend to be border's best friend for the time that i am unemployed. oh, come to think of it, i should do some research on potential jobs.

pausing for a thought here: i want to make sure this time i am doing research on jobs, not looking for jobs. maybe what i need to do is make a checklist that i'll take into phone interviews to ask the interviewer about. for example, for my last job disaster, i didn't really check to see how my future group interacted with engineering. if i had done some more prying, i might've found out that my future group had no respect or bargaining power with the engineers and therefore had a miserable time getting anything done. big, big red flag.

Thoughts on Blogging

2004-10-27T17:55:00.000-07:00

The business that is sprouting up around blogging is fascinating to me. I'm really interested in how people will be consuming information in the future. It's quite a phenomenon, in the online space, people are moving away from pictures and flash-bang to just text. With blogging, people are moving away from established content sources and bloggers are developing their own brand and their own following. It's gotten to the point where ads can be sold on blogs depending on their content.

Who would've known that online journals would become big business? Not for the people supplying the infrastructure, but for the people generating the content. (Ahem someone want to pay me for ad space here...?)

What's next? Where does all this go? This is a huge question I think, because I feel a change is coming...soon. It's kind of amazing, really. Remember when the internet was relatively new? Everyone and their mother had their own website. That kind of fizzled after awhile, and I'm not sure why. Too much upkeep? Got too annoying? Why did geocities eventually fall apart? What will become of blogging? Things I need to think about.

Alrighty

2004-10-27T17:49:00.000-07:00

So here we go again. I'm gonna try to keep this blog more regular, and really I'm typing that to myself as a reminder or a reaffirmation. Doggone it, I'm smart enough...

So I've started career move #3 doing marketing analysis at Xoom.com. So far so good - it's been interesting, trying to get up to speed on all the different tools and thinking like a marketer as opposed to a product guy. But it's refreshing, I find already that I have a different point of view from the other marketers because of my experience with product.

I'm really amazed at the amount of data that a small company can cough up. It's all the tools and data that I wish I had access to at Yahoo! Finance, but never had. You'd think that a large, multinational website with hundreds of millions of users would invest more in developing tools, but no. I guess Yahoo! has more traffic they know what to do with, and it really doesn't matter. At any rate, this should be a good learning experience for me.

Here we go again...

2004-10-19T16:04:00.000-07:00

Ok here we go again...I'm gonna try this blogging thing one more time.