fish obsession.

i am becoming obsessed with fish. not for eating, goldfish.

it started innocently enough - you go to a pet store, buy a bowl, some rocks, some food, and a couple of cute fish to keep. naturally those guys die off, and you go back to the pet store asking what you can do to keep the fish healthy. i remember one conversation i had with the pet store owner, a youngish, hippie girl, complete with dreads and hemp skirt. the conversation went something like:

"so...i had these goldfish, but i wasn't too successful with them. i got them here and they didn't last very long."

"what did you keep them in?"

"a bowl...this one..."

"a BOWL?! you can't keep fish in a BOWL."

"but, you sold them to me..."

"if you keep fish in a bowl you're KILLING them. they can't BREATHE. you're SUFFOCATING THEM."

"uhm, ok." off to petco i go, where the sales associates are stupid and mind their own business. nor do they make you feel like an icthocydial maniac. why the hell did you sell me the fish and the bowl in the first place, lady?!

at some point this innocent interest became a mission. i can keep a stupid goldfish alive for longer than 6 months.

anyway, di and i got a tank. a small, 6 gallon one. one that now i know is also a "fish-killer" because fish need huge tanks to get by. about 10 gallons per fish. good lord. hell, it'd be nice if i could have a 2000 sq ft. apartment, but it's not gonna happen, so i'm going to deal with it. likewise my fish will have to deal as well.

so we weren't too successful with our first few fish. turns out the water in san francisco is killer to fish, because of all the chlorine and chloramine they add to the water to make it palatable. so the irony now, is our fish drink better water than we do, since i go out and buy spring water in bulk to change their tank water with.

i've recently learned that getting a tank with a filter is not enough to keep happy fish. nor is spring water. you need to get a "nitrogen cycle" going by fostering the growth of good bacteria, that breaks down the ammonia in the water (produced by fish poop) and turns it into nitrogen. however, too much nitrogen isn't that good either, so you need to convert that into nitrates by adding epsom salt, and la la lalalalala i've completely lost track of how to care for these suckers.

dude, i might as well get a hamster. at least it's a mammal, and i KNOW what the hell keeps them alive. warmth. milk. exercise. none of these frickin' ammonia ph nitrates, all the chemistry i've forgotten years ago.

either way, i still do it, spend tons of time and money caring for these fish. why?

when i see happy fish, i'm happy. sigh.